First off – yes there are responsible motorized bike riders out there, and good for them. This is not about them. This is about the self-righteous jerks who think that because they choose to ride an unstable, unprotected, overpowered (some) vehicle with little precautions for personal safety that they have the right to offend everyone else and claim persecution.

I’m tired of motorcycle riders bitching about how they have to pay closer attention to controlling their motorized bike. Yes, you do. There are only two wheels instead of four. It’s a bike with a motor. You choose to ride it, buck up and take responsibility.

Some riders bitch about how they are more at risk for injury than those of us in regular vehicles. Yes, you are completely unprotected. You chose to ride a vehicle with no surrounding frame nor safety devices. Own your choice or change it.

On the excessive powered motors – I don’t really have a complaint. Do what you want, but be able to handle it responsibly.

In Illinois motorcycle riders are not required to wear helmets. Cool. I don’t think you should HAVE to do much of anything you don’t want to do. However, please understand that I have much less pity for you if you are wearing cloth shorts, a tank top, and sunglasses. Enjoy your bike, but realize you are taking 0.0 effort to protect yourself. Quit whining.

Loud pipes save lives my ass. Loud pipes are an extension of your penis. Generally I cannot hear the penis-extenders until a bike is beside me or splitting a lane to pass and squeeze one car space ahead to cause an accident. This is a bullshit chant to justify annoying everyone who doesn’t find the exhaust cackle thrilling. If loud pipes saved lives we should all be driving with glass packs or straight pipes.

Start SEEING motorcycles is a tired load of horse shit. I look out for all vehicles, bicycles, pedestrians, and deer when I’m driving. I know some people don’t, but there are also dumbass motorcyclists splitting lanes and weaving in and out of traffic. I witness this at least a few times per month, and often a few times per week. The mantra was cute when it started, but now it comes off as a whine that motorcyclists use to shift blame for their choices onto those who don’t ride motorized bikes.

End rant.

Also, ladies – we know it’s a rolling vibrator, you can quit pretending it’s not.